ALL THAT AND A BAG OF NUTs

By L. M. O’Neal

“Oh so troubling are the holidays to a romantic Heart.” LM O’NEAL

The next one; Valentines Day! This is another opportunity to become more thoughtful or less. Well gentlemen, “Man Up and Battle Stations”. To what is the alarm being sounded for, you ask?

On February 14th, the love of your life or main squeeze will be expecting something personal or private from you that is only for her. That could vary as widely as the stars in the sky. However, You Dear Man, must figure out what it is that gives her that inner warm glow. Discovering what elevates her heart beat “is the cause for alarm”. Get  it right and “YOU’RE THE MAN”. Get it wrong and you are the turd that she’s stuck with.

By the way, some of you guys may have the kind of woman you would be wise to dump immediately and before V. D. Day. These women have negative attributes that some shrinks fear to entangle.

The first one of these are the Female Assassin capable of killing your hopes, dreams, will and desire. She can do it all and still keep a smile on her face and make the grocery list while making “Wild and Passionate Love” to you.

Second, you have the Villainous Female which is first Cousin to Mayhem. If something goes wrong, its your fault or she will say it is. Or you are the cause of the problem. This one is particularly dangerous around Valentines Day. If she doesn’t get chocolates, jewelry and roses, you will be the weiner on the grill come 4th of July. Thats right, months and months of torment.

But if you have one of those ladies of DECEPTION you are in deep Doo Doo. This third type is emotionally dangerous. You may know she is lying to you on a regular basis about almost any and everything. But she is just so incredible you don’t think you can live without her. News Flash! Are you sure you want to live with someone who lies more often and better than you? Think about it. You may tell “Little white lies” that will get you in the dog house when she discovers you lied but, it’s worth the risk. She on the other hand, loves to be DECEPTIVE.

However, Deceptive keeps bad company with Vindictive. This is type number four and I pray you are not the poor slob with one of these. Vindictiveness is not human, she only appears to be. She may appear to be beautiful, sexy and smart in the beginning but, what you fail to understand is she’s extremely dangerous as you will discover.

Vindictive will warmly accept your flowers, candies and jewelry. She will shower you with words and actions of appreciation while planning ways to make you pay for some real or imagined wrong you’ve done in the distant past. This offense committed or not committed by you is one she hopes you’ve long forgotten, but she hasn’t. When she feels the time is right, she will have her revenge. This opens the door for number five, MS Sociopath.

MS Sociopath is more dangerous than any of the afore mentioned. First you must understand what a Sociopath is. By definition a sociopath will hurt whom ever they have to, go where ever they think they need go and do what ever is required to get what they want. They have no regard for feelings of others nor the consequences of their actions and decisions. She lacks concern or care about she actions on others.

For example, if she decides you should get the promotion into management, she could find a way to have sex with your boss and then black mail him or her into giving you the promotion. And do so with no regrets. She got what she wanted which was you a promotion. Keep in mind however, this act or similar actions will also screw you. This type believes in and often practices “CATCH AND RELEASE”. Having you is just part of her personal gain.

Speaking of sex. We also have the Cougar. She is number six and usually appears  polished, poised, stylish and has her own kind of attractiveness. She will mentally and emotionally eat your heart and soul before you can get out of bed.

Cougars are often “women older than their prey”.  They are on the prowl day and night. They are always watching for that tasty “underling to be cradled, nurtured, possessed, controlled and if necessary, consumed.” In most cases the poor guy won’t know what hit him. Before he knows it, she is all over his life, his lifestyle and controlling it and him. She will gladly take his gifts, candies and flowers. Then she will skillfully instruct him on the ones he should have gotten her.

Cougars can be a lot of fun and danger. If they know you know their scheme and what she is capable of, they usually move with more caution. This way the relationship last longer and they have a challenge.

The bottom line is Valentines Day is coming and you need to pay attention to your lady now. Try to determine what will make her proud. If you can afford  to give a gift that is specificlly for her. Please guys – don’t buy her chocolates if she is dieting. Like I said if you get it right, “YOU’RE THE MAN!”

If you think it don’t matter what she wants or how she feels about your gift or lack thereof, you aren’t worth having anyway. Good Luck, and Happy Valentines Day.

Informing The Gender

By M’s Roni,

“Contributing Author”

Sometimes it pays to get information from the other gender.

I’m sure you ladies have heard from your other half about the advice my other half shares, usually about how to stay out of the dog house.

I am turning the wheel in a different direction however

The other day Larry and I were talking as we enjoyed our morning cup of coffee together. We were discussing World Events when out of the blue Larry begins telling me about guys in Europe having female robots.  He said they are beautiful, work hard to please their man, do all the daily chores and at the end of the day when night shadows fall she cuddles close and never complains about having a headache. Now these dependable, beautiful, long suffering, and free from all unfavorable incidents or  “even headaches” are not yet completed , as I was just informed.  However, I have also been informed by my dearest that men are chewing at the bit to get their hands on one of these wonderful bags of wires, bolts and bytes,who is every man’s dream come true

A woman who is up bright and early wearing only a short gingham apron around her perfectly formed body, preparing his breakfast, serving him a cup of hot brew and a glass of his favorite juice while he lingers in bed still salivating about the romantic, long legged, buxom woman wearing only her light olive skin, glistening from the sweet smelling oil she applied just before lowering herself into his bed. This rag-tag creature from cyber space has no scruples. She is playing in the same bed this man once shared with his wife.

After he showers he dresses in the clothing she has meticulously placed on the bed for him.  She, with precision movements prepares his food and places his to order eggs bacon and a fruit bowl lnfront of him. He doesn’t have to ask for a second cup of coffee, she already has it poured and placed on the table. Imagine that!

She rushes to get dressed before he finishes his meal so she can stand faithfully by the door like a stray dog, until he has his overcoat on, his briefcase in hand, and then in her raspy voice she tells him to have a good day.  She tippy toes to give him a good bye kiss.

She shops early at the local grocery store in order to find the freshest cuts of meat and fresh fruits and vegetables. On her way home she stops by the local car wash and has the car detailed. She stops by the dry-cleaners and grabs His suits . She checks her memory board to make sure she’s forgotten nothing.  When he returns home to an immaculate house, his bath is drawn. She bathes him, wraps him in a terry cloth robe and leads him to the dining room table where she serves him an eloquent

meal with his favorite glass of wine. She is wearing a French hostess outfit, her wavy dark hair pulled seductively to one side. She bends slightly in front of him, exposing her cleavage.

He saves money because he never has to take her out on a date night. She never complains about not having the latest clothing, jewelry or gadgets. She is priceless.

I have been told some men are planning on divorcing their wives and getting their dibs in on one of these wire heads before the ink dries on the divorce papers.

If Europe has them on the assembly line,it won’t be long before they plug in (punt intended) to the US of A.

I cannot possibly keep up with this mechanical nympho, built to order, who still has time to run errands, cook meals, clean house and romp in the bed room; without love, care, expectations or hope.

As I said earlier, this should be a concern to every depraved housewife who sometimes has headaches, or even backaches from working both inside and outside the home, who runs errands, cares for the children and somehow finds time to spend some playtime with hubby…but I be damn if I am going to bathe a grown man and wrap him in a terry cloth robe. He is grown, let him do some things for himself…however, I am not a jealous woman, but at this point I am concerned, knowing that for just a few thousand dollars I can be replaced by a mechanical bimbo who needs plugged into a circuit in order to get plugged.  Don’t you ladies feel we have concerns?

What an insult to the female gender!! Are you ladies pondering what our humanistic instincts are telling us? We need to quickly encourage our loved ones to get off the grid…you know, return to primitive times…no electricity! Are you getting my drift? Let me know how it works out for you. I refuse to allow a programmed , over sexed robot take my place. Action ladies! I will pull her hair out by the roots…I mean wires.

Happy New Year y’all.

Did She Like It

It is now a day or two after Christmas and things are a little cool between “your main squeeze” and you. In fact, she is down right “Pissed”. Now, why do you think that is?

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out, you probably screwed up on her gift. Yo’ Dude. Were you listening? Didn’t you catch her hints? How many times did she “uh and ah” over a piece of jewelry, blouse, pair of shoes or something else you would rather take table salt in the eye, than be caught buying.

If you missed her signals and she did not miss yours, you are an ignoramus. If not an ignoramus, then at least an idiot.

How could you not pay attention to the woman you are suppose to be in LOVE with. Did you forget she was not your pet but, is in fact your wife or significant other. Well, you are in the DOG HOUSE big time.

Don’t feel alone – you are not. Many of us men are in there with you. It seems most of us can not get all the desired gifts right. In fact, we are usually off the mark some of the time.

In a future post I will discuss ways to get out of the dog house and off the sofa. I myself have a special pillow and blanket just for the sofa which I will be using for a while. I too missed the mark this Christmas. “Baby it’s cold outside.”

They Let Trans Genders Do It

By L. M. O’Neal

Who gives a dead rats rear end what Rachel Dolezal wants to call herself. Liberalism and Progressive Communist in American has tried for years to make the country gender neutral, income neutral, race neutral and every other kind of neutral towards the goal of making all of the world “one big fat nothing, filled with nobodies”. They have done a good job.

Rachel Dolezal may appear white but there was some woman in Congress that claimed to be an American Indian to get a favored grant in college. This puts Rachel in similar company, not necessarily good company.

The left “Liberal Democrats and Republicans” have given support and protection to LBGT agenda and demand ordinary Americans do the same. That is a mistake.

In the United States, the Constitution says one citizen does not have to like, support or approve of any other citizen, that includes the formentioned, the “non-Indian” looks white, Congress woman, Rachel Dolezal or anyone else.

If Rachel wants to call herself “Black”, who cares. She can call herself “the jolly green giant in a skirt”. The real question is, what kind of person is she and what is her intent for doing what she does.

That is the real question, not what she calls herself or what she writes. But, she has written a book or two and wants to get readers. Maybe this is the reason; https://heatst.com/culture-wars/rachel-dolezal-i-dont-identify-as-african-american-i-identify-as-black/

Tags:

Rachel Dolezal, Dolezal, Rachel, written a book, black, she wants to be black, the jolly green giant in a skirt, neutral, income neutral, race neutral, gender neutral, American Indian, trans gender, who cares,

The Democrats Did It

Former President Obama and Clinton made being a low life individual, fashionable and worst of all, acceptable. Just look what they prompted.

Bill Clinton will always be known for implying “oral sex is not sex” and “the Lawinski”. Obama proved how best to start a riot. “The police acted stupidly.”

It appears these are traits and words that connect with the lower public. By lower, I mean, “Those of low moral Standards”, like me. Yes, I can have low moral standards but, I try to keep them in their “seperate but equal cages”.

Both presented themselves as Family loving men and Presidents but, by their actions, one would have to really think about. Doing a little research into these two past Presidencies could reveal a number of flaws we may not want repeated by the current President.

We should ride the new President and Congress just as hard as we did the Democrat versions. And tell the news Media to learn to be Americans First, Fake Journalist Second. People may again trust them some.

What You Gonna’ Do

Springtime has arrived, now what are you going to do about those extra pounds? You could try dieting, for the ten-thousandth time. Think it might work? Maybe, but only if you change a few of your eating habits like, cut out the junk food. How about eating one less meal a day? Not even I like skipping meals, so let’s skip that idea.

How about walking a little more? You do understand, we are a ride society. If the store is a half block away, we are likely to jump in the car to go 3000 feet. Get off you fat buns and walk.

But, what if it kills me or makes me sick? If walking a half block makes you sick, you were sick before you started because you should have been doing that before. But, back to food.

We adults over 40, can not eat as though we were 20. No matter the sex, we have changed and do not process food the same as we always did. The higher up the age latter we get, the closer we must watch how and what we eat. A seafood diet is not a SEE FOOD AND EAT IT DIET.

Not all foods will digest well with all people. If something is not digesting well with you, stop eating it. The people around you would really appriciate it.

Take a few minutes and consider what makes you uncomfortable to do. If you hate to walk, that maybe what you need to be doing. If you hate exercise, try more sex-ercise. Your mate or spouse may like that Idea. In other words, get off your fat butt and get a little busier. The outcome just might surprise you.