Did She Like It

It is now a day or two after Christmas and things are a little cool between “your main squeeze” and you. In fact, she is down right “Pissed”. Now, why do you think that is?

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out, you probably screwed up on her gift. Yo’ Dude. Were you listening? Didn’t you catch her hints? How many times did she “uh and ah” over a piece of jewelry, blouse, pair of shoes or something else you would rather take table salt in the eye, than be caught buying.

If you missed her signals and she did not miss yours, you are an ignoramus. If not an ignoramus, then at least an idiot.

How could you not pay attention to the woman you are suppose to be in LOVE with. Did you forget she was not your pet but, is in fact your wife or significant other. Well, you are in the DOG HOUSE big time.

Don’t feel alone – you are not. Many of us men are in there with you. It seems most of us can not get all the desired gifts right. In fact, we are usually off the mark some of the time.

In a future post I will discuss ways to get out of the dog house and off the sofa. I myself have a special pillow and blanket just for the sofa which I will be using for a while. I too missed the mark this Christmas. “Baby it’s cold outside.”

Touching Your “Junk”

Okay fellas; let’s get serious for a minute. Your “JUNK” is yours until you are “married”. Then it becomes hers as half owner and her stuff is half yours by marriage. No I am not going to get into a discussion on marriage that is for another post later.

Your Junk is private property. In fact it is personal and private property. It’s yours and you don’t want it messed with. That feeling is reasonable. However, this is about the mens room.

Some of you lack certain skills when it comes to taking a pee. It is clear, control of your Junk, Johnson, Winky, Ding-a-ling, man tool, or penis is in need of supervision. In other words, can’t you figure out how to hit an open crapper with the seat and lid up? Yes, I understand some of you haven’t seen that thing, by looking down in a long time. And, others don’t have much to look at but, hitting your piss target is an adult thing.

How do you like going into a public rest room and some guy has pissed all over the seat? It’s not very funny if you are the guy needing to take a crap. Precious moments are lost while the seat is made almost passable to get close to sitting on. Now, keep in mind, most normal thinking guys are not interested in handling your Junk. Most of us would get just as pissed as John Tyner did when the TSA showed just how perverted they were. I provided a link to the story. https://www.wired.com/2010/11/tsa-investigating-passenger/

Another problem with poor handling of your tool is your germs. The next guy to use the John usually does not know what kind of germs and diseases the last guy dropped off at the toilet when he took a tinkle. How would you like to be accused of cheating on your sweetie and giving her some kind of nasty bug, fungus or germ and you are innocent of fooling around with someone else. If that happens, you have your work cut out for you.

In other words, get your ‘Power tool” on target before you let the water fly. Most of us don’t want to share your germs and bodily fluids. If all else fails, sit down and pee. This may not be masculine but sitting on a hole that big, you got to hit it.

 

By, L. M. O’Neal